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Joke of the Day

"I must be emotionally constipated ...because I haven't given a shit in days"

"My girlfriend was crying after she had a miscarriage... I said, ""don't worry hunny, at least it was still born..."""

"i legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I'm in NYC"

"My childhood was pretty traumatizing... for my parents."

"This joke is missing a climax Just like your girlfriend."

"They call cat people crazy but we're not the ones outside at 5AM every morning putting fresh dog poop into tiny baggies."

"So I went to a restaurant called Bukkake the other day... WAY too much sauce on everything."

"Do you like Fishsticks? Do you like putting Fishsticks in your mouth? You're a gayfish. #original"

"Why is the pussy slit verticaly and not horizontaly? So it doesn't clap when running."

"There are two types of people on Twitter. Those who can take a joke, and those who will copy it and claim it as their own"