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Joke of the Day

"Condoms... Are for pussies."

"What's the difference between Wendy's and Windows? Wendy's is never frozen."

"Did you hear about the guy from Parks & Rec who crashed his plane? It was comic Aziz."

"Some days I ask, ""What would Chewbacca do?"" And the answer is always, ""Make that gargly roaring sound."" So that's what I do."

"Return policy: ""If for any reason you are not satisfied..."" Ok, I'm not satisfied because dwarves and rockets."

"I, for one, is a pretty weak Scrabble play."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur Trannyosaurus Rex"

"*Now with 50 percent less fat* Me: ooooh *buys two*"

"My girlfriend always likes to pretend to be 14 when we have sex... I don't know why, she'll be 14 in a couple years anyway."

"Apparently ""I'll break your god damn legs"" isn't the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway."