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Joke of the Day

"What did the lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vampire? ""See you next month"""

"Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None that's a hardware problem."

"What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? A taxidermist takes only your skin. [Mark Twain]"

"I am so bored in my current profession. I am thinking of becoming a bartender... ...to shake things up a bit."

"pope: love all *everyone cheers* *he serves a tennis ball right into the crowd* pope: fifteen-love"

"How many immigrants does donald trump need to change a lightbulb? None because no juan will be left to change it"

"How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer? Stick it in microwave and turn it on until it's Bill Withers."

"I've just heard that Harrison Ford crashed his plane onto a golf course Apparently he was just dropping in for a Short Round"

"If brevity is the soul of wit... Why the fuck are some the jokes posted here so long?"

"Someone asked me if I'd ever taken ecstasy I said, ""No, but I've given it a few times."""