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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer? Stick it in microwave and turn it on until it's Bill Withers."

"What do you call a cow that just tripped? Ground Beef"

"Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill Mrs Brown."

"What do you call someone who wears leather, likes bondage and likes getting inked? Moleskine"

"What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex? Honey, I'm home!"

"What happens when Donald gets a boner? A Trup vote."

"[coffee shop] *casually puts arm around wife* *reaches up to Free Wifi sign with a pen* *changes last ""i"" to an ""e"", draws downward arrow*"

"Sign language is pretty handy."

"What do you call someone who throws up after drinking too much orange soda? ... Fantastic"

"[God Creating] Lucifer: Make them wake up paralyzed sometimes G: That sounds horrible L: People will love it G: Hm, I trusted you on spiders"