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Joke of the Day

"What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones? The last one out is meant to get the Wights"

"What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear."

"My wife told me she is having an affair with Mr. Peanut. I think she is fucking nuts."

"[donating blood] ""You're looking a little faint. Can I get you a drink?"" ""No thanks, I've just had like 60 of those strawberry Capri Suns."""

"As a gay male, just once, I wish someone would ask me how I like my coffee. Them: Hey, how do you like your coffee? Me: Like I love my men! Them: Oh, Black? Me: No, anally!"

"""We will, we will paper you!"" - Band that's more awesome than Queen"

"When an old lady dies and then her husband dies a couple of weeks later, it isn't because his heart is broken. It's because he can't cook."

"A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it."

"Thank you, possum, for rustling outside the window when some show about serial killers is on. It really helped with my insomnia."

"Why did AT&T have the worst wedding? No reception."