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Joke of the Day

"'I can't find my dollar bill' Jane sobbed. 'Don't worry' her Counselor said. 'A dollar doesn't go very far today.'"

"What did the Ukrainian say to the whiny American? Crimea River."

"I thought I saw a pizza in the sexy underwear ad. ...oops, wrong subliminal"

"My suspicious mole cancelled my appointment with a dermatologist."

"What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? You need to be more Pacific. *cymbal clash*"

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump ? One's a dumb and the other is dumber"

"A schizophrenic soldier took an enemy battalion prisoner. It was easy, he had them surrounded."

"Name's Bond. James Bond. *Drinks martini* Jame's Bond. Names Bond. *drinks another martini* Bame's Jond. *Drinks 1 more* THIS IS MY SONG WOO"

"Joke about China [censored]"

"Probably the worst thing about dying a virgin would be all the dead terrorists that are waiting for you."