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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a sweatshirt and a jacket? I don't sweatshirt 3 times a day."
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"Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who's sick of her bullshit."
"When someone says ""It is what it is,"" I reply, ""Isn't it?"" so we can both sound useless."
"""Sushi"" is Japanese for ""take a picture of this, white girls."""
"I was making a graph of my past relationships. First I drew the Ex axis then the Why axis. Full disclosure: I saw this in yik yak thought is share it here. :)"
"and God said,"" Let there be light !"" Chuck Norris says"" Say please"""
"What religion believes in the Big Bang? Islam."
"How do you find a British person in a crowd? 1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066."
"[Mother's Day text to my wife] Don't let the kids know I sent this but do you know where we keep the powdered sugar and band-aids?"
"I'm really regretting getting that discount circumcision... ...it was a total rip-off!"