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Joke of the Day

"happy easter everybody! remember it's not about the bunny but when scott stapp was nailed to that cross"

"God: [returning from year-long sabbatical] So, how's 2016 been? Did you cope OK? Intern who was left in charge: [looks awkward] Yep. Fine."

"Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy? Because he thought his daddy was his mummy."

"I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can't any more. My phone battery just doesn't have the stamina any more."

"Toy inventors make the best writers They have many novel ideas."

"All pills are sleeping pills if you take enough of them."

"What do my tastes in food and pornography have in common? I prefer the kind with fruits and vegetables."

"In the 17th century, villagers would burn down entire neighborhoods to combat diseases such as bubonic plague, typhus, and gluten."

"What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven"

"Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored? A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned."