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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of its silent P."

"I wonder how telemarketers react to other telemarketers when they are at home..."

"Dating Tips 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Please. I am 36 and live with 2 guinea pigs."

"Accidentally ran the wash with Ecstasy still in a back pocket. Now my jeans are freaking out, and the zipper won't stop grinding its teeth."

"In Dublin, a very nervous Liam brings his girlfriend to meet his father for the first time. Liam (to father): This is Amanda Father: A fooking WHAT!?"

"Why did the cat cross the road? Because curiousity was on the other side"

"I had a joke about Jonestown, But the punchline was too long."

"I'm black but not "" can't understand the Winter Olympics"" black. Those guys in the ski race are running from cops on a bobsled, right?"

"So, we're arguing and I've suddenly realized I don't agree with a word I'm saying. Which really ups the degree of difficulty for winning."

"What sort file do you you need to turn a 1.5 inch hole into a 4.5 inch one? A pedo-file."