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Joke of the Day

"What sort file do you you need to turn a 1.5 inch hole into a 4.5 inch one? A pedo-file."

"Man at the bar... ""...Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy! Woman responds: ""No, I'm Finnish. Finnished with this conversation!"""""

"My family puts the ""C"" in Awckward because the majority of them didn't graduate high school and are horrible spellers."

"Whenever I see a new couple on a date I walk up to their table, hold up my phone and tell the guy ""You're Wife Sarah says hello""."

"If Jesus is the Lamb of God? Does that mean mary had a little lamb?"

"Hey guys, I think I just got murdered but I'm not sure, and WebMD is like ZERO help."

"Startle and amuse your cat by replacing its kitty litter with Poprocks. (Ladies: feel free to share this idea on your pinny website thing.)"

"Dry erase boards are remarkable!"

"What did the man say to his penis when it offered him a fight? Come on then you *little squirt*!"

"The MTV Movie Awards are a great reminder of why kids should never be allowed to vote."