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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? fshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

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"What's black and does not work? Decaf Coffee"
"I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now."
"Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?"
"Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them."
"i dropped a chicken mcnugget and I've been on the floor of mcdonalds sobbing the lyrics to how to save a life by the fray for 2 hours"
"I picked my nose in traffic today. Secretly hoping a tweeter who had run out of joke material saw me. You've gotta give to get, people."
"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton survive a capsized boat. Who drowns? The boat."
"Phantom cellphone vibrations are your dead ancestors calling you."
"I dropped my electric toothbrush in the garbage disposal and accidentally co-produced a Skrillex album."