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Joke of the Day

"Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them."

"Donald Trumps favorite movie is E. T. Because the fucking alien went back home!"

"Why did jillian fall of the swing? She had no arms! Why didnt jillian get back up? She had no legs! Knock knock! Whos there? Sure as hell not jillian :)"

"Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster"

"Those stickers of families you see on the back of mini-vans are like menus.. For sexual predators."

"Where do terrorists go for a drink? The Allahu Ak-Bar."

"I threw caution to the wind.caution is my little brother."

"How do I know thieves are bad kissers? Because apparently I make out like a bandit."

"I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking He told me he was busy and that I'd have to be a little patient"

"hAD SO MYCH COFFEE WHO wantS TO HELP ME STOP KONY LETS GO LETS STEAL A CAR BRO CMON"