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Joke of the Day
"Phantom cellphone vibrations are your dead ancestors calling you."
Next Joke
"A mosquito bit Hillary Clinton the other day... It was later found to have hit itself in the back of the head with a fly swatter."
"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken Christopher Reeve"
"Q: What do you call it when a cat stops? - A: A paws!"
"Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion! "
"So a man goes to a restaurant and orders some food.. [OC] Man: ""Ugghhh...What the hell is this? There is sand in my paella!!!"" Waiter: ""Si?"""
"How can you tell there are two elephants in your fridge? You have to put the partly-eaten dismembered body of your infant daughter in the freezer instead."
"There's no way I'm the only person who thinks Kristen Stewart is doing the world's best Garfield impression."
"If my girlfriend was a Pokemon her name would be...... Vulva-sore"
"What do you call a pig in a trailer? Pulled pork!"