133292

Joke of the Day

"Another previously unknown dinosaur was the Thesaurus who used flowery language to confuse and disorient predators while he made his escape"

"Do you know the thing about carpets? They demand to be felt."

"I wanted to be a tailor. But I didn't suit the job."

"How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man? (pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)"

"Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese."

"*slowly raises hand 20 minutes into an important office meeting* so there are no donuts?"

"What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the Negav desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it? here in my mirage got this jew labor genie here"

"Is your ass the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty? Cause your booty is disarming"

"Listened to some Beethoven last night. And some Lady Gaga today. Now I'm quite confused. Who's the deaf one again?"

"Some people have 32 teeth, some have 10. It's simple meth."