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Joke of the Day

"Studies show that a lot of women turn into good drivers So If you're a good driver, look out for women turning"

"[hitting a beach ball back and forth with son] *accidentally hits it over his head and into an outdoor concert* ""don't bother son, its gone"""

"The hell with a Klondike Bar, ask me what I'd do for a box of Girl Scout Cookies."

"I heard they found water on Mars... I bet California is pretty jealous."

"England was knocked out of the World Cup. It's the most English people wiped out at one time since the last episode of ""Game of Thrones."""

"Wanna hear a joke about blimps? It'll never fly."

"What three things does a woman need to do an oil change on her car? Two boobs and a man"

"Why did Nixon never drive on the highway? Because he always took the low road."

"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? The headline said ""Small Medium at Large"""

"Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology."