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Joke of the Day

"Just used shampoo so fortifying that a giant brick wall manifested around me in the shower & I guess this is my home now."

"What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish"

"These boots. Were made. For Walken."

"What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed? Joint Family."

"The most annoying part of reddit is [removed]"

"God talked to Jews like 500 times in the Old Testament, and not one warning about the Nazis."

"I've got a joke about odd numbers. It's not even funny."

"Sometimes I draw a penis on my face before I go out so people know I'm there to fucking party."

"I caught my wife in bed with another man, I was crushed... So I said, ""Get off me you two!"""

"I'm terrible at keeping track of appointments so I signed up for a time management class. I showed up for class *a week late.* [Heard just now on Freakonomics.]"