133118

Joke of the Day

"What cheese is used to block online streaming? Edam"

"What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...? Turkey"

"What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV."

"""I just dumped my girlfriend lol"" - a cannibal after taking a shit."

"Googled woodworking. Broke my coffee table down and built a birdhouse. Desk is now a birdhouse too. Pretty much everything's a birdhouse now"

"[Court] ""Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"" Me: yes. *GF from the back* DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"

"Rise and shine to all the beautiful women of the world. Ugly women, don't get greedy, go back to sleep, your time is coming, at night."

"Why can't you run through camp sites? You can only ran because it's past tents."

"Why shouldn't you ever have an argument with Mobius? Because they're always so one sided!"

"If a person told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them?"