11698

Joke of the Day

"Q: ""Hey Dad, how was your business trip to Southeast Asia?"" A: ""Terrible son. In fact, It was downright Laosy"""

"*Death comes for me but is once again fooled by my false moustache*"

"Can all 16gb iPhone users send a screenshot of their storage page? No sorry I don't have enough storage to take a screenshot."

"My mate Dave's just got back from his third tour of Afghanistan. Hardest bloody bus driver I know."

"What do you say to a motivated ghost? That's the spirit!"

"ME: [sees old friend with new wife] Hey congrats on the wedding! Where did you marry? HIM: Maui ME: Oh, sowwy! Where did you mawwy her?"

"I wish I was a little bit kidding when I say that I just chose peanut M&Ms over regular ones because protein"

"Why do strippers look better in the club than outside the club? Black lights matter."

"After everything I put, say to yourself 'So did Michael Jackson' I went to the beach on a sunny day. I saw an ice cream stall. I bought an ice cream. It melted."

"Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk? Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo."