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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins are in an oven. The first says ""It sure is hot in here""... and the baker says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"""

"What is the blackest of magics? Negromancy."

"[after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy"

"good baseball player nicknames if they weren't already taken: - batman - hitler"

"[briefing] CIA DIRECTOR: We have a leak... CIA PLUMBER: (slowly stands up) CIA DIRECTOR: In our operation. CP: (slowly sits back down)"

"French prostitutes in Pakistan come from La'whore Me to friend: What would you like, breast or legs? Friend to me: pussy, pussy and only pussy Me to friend: We are at KFC, not in a whorehouse"

"He was a poor country boy. She was a rich city girl. They never met, due to geographic distance and rigid socioeconomic stratification."

"How do you get 1000 dead babies into a phone booth? A blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos"

"Why do girls talk so much? They have four lips"

"I sexually identify as a Canadian... I'm eh-sexual."