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Joke of the Day

"My cousin's shoe store burned down yesterday There were so many lost soles."

"It only took four men to wallpaper my house, but I had to slice them really thin."

"Why does Naruto vomit after every meal? He's **BULIMIC!**"

"How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him."

"I'll always remember what my uncle said before he passed on up... ""Flying houses? Talking dogs? That movie looks dumb."""

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway? You take the S out of SAFE and you take the F out of WAY"

"Why did the wine critic get kicked off the nudist beach? Because he was wandering around with a semillon. (best when read out loud)"

"When a man talks dirty to a woman... The man is charged for sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, He's also charged $3.95 per minute."

"I couldn't find my eye drops today It seems like eye dropped it. :|"

"I hope Jeremy Corben is successful in his new chosen career! I didn't really rate him as a comedian, he was especially bad in The Wrong Man's."