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Joke of the Day

"*pulls out earbud* What? ""We need to talk."" *pulls out earbud* ""You've been spending too much time at Chernobyl."" *pulls out earbud* No way"

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"When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats. This is known as the many paws."
"[The Price is Right Wheel-O-Fate stops on the symbol] DREW: ooh that's 8 days in the hole CONTESTANT: what? [hole opens in the ground]"
"Researchers recently unveiled a device will launch stinging insects at high speeds. It has beegun."
"Why I don't trust women.... Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
"Bought an elephant for my friends So I bought my friends an elephant for their room. They said ""Thank you."" I said ""Don't mention it."""
"What do Islamist extremists eat for breakfast? French toast"
"so a dyslexic man........ walks into a bra"
"Did you hear about Helen Keller's dating life? because I heard she wasn't seeing anyone"
"Hitler couldn't have been that bad of a guy.. After all, he did kill Hitler"
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