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Joke of the Day

"Why I don't trust women.... Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

"Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors? Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!"

"Teacher With student.. Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"Why did the fastest animal on earth got disqualified on the race? Because it is using steroids."

"a man walks into a library drunk and says can i have a fish and chips please the woman says sir this is a library and then whispers can i have a fish and chips please"

"My girlfriend's angry because I got drunk and did a shit on the roof. Please tell me, how can I wipe the slate clean?"

"What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."

"My girlfriend told me that she has bronchitis. I wish I had a dinosaur."

"A snowstorm knocked out the power of a black man's house, so he went out to investigate. He's the only blackout in a whiteout."

"What's the difference between a priest and his dog? One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants."