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Joke of the Day

"Since only the good die young, I must have the shelf-life of a Twinkie."

"What did Barack say to Michelle when he proposed? I don't want to be Obama self."

"Whats the leading cause of pedophilia? sexy kids"

"What's your New Year's resolution? Mines is still 1920x1080, unfortunately."

"I grilled some chicken today... What a waste of time. He still wouldn't tell me why he crossed the road."

"Everytime you pull the trigger a bullet loses its job...HAHAHAHA! Because it gets FIRED. HAHAHA! *I'm in tears*"

"Him: What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god? Me: oh, um, science."

"How did Djengis Khan found Mongolia? One steppe at a time."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands!"

"A guy wire is holding a pole... ...the pole is 10 meters tall, the wire makes a 48^o angle from the ground and the very tip is 7 meters from the pole. How long until the feminists arrive?"