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Joke of the Day

"In light of the recent NASA news.... Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in a piece of gum? No? Well he got stuck in Orbit."

"Nice try, PG-13 comedies."

"What's the last thing a Tickle-Me Elmo gets before leaving the factory? Two test-tickles!"

"Condoms A man walks into a shop to buy some condoms. The cashier asks 'would you like a bag with that?' To which the man replies 'No thanks, she's not that ugly'."

"I like to sit and stare at the Chinese take out menu for an hour and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times."

"Q: How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!! YOU DON'T KNOW!!!"

"My Friends Call Me A Pedophile Because she's 18 and I'm 30, but I'll be damned if I let them ruin our seven year anniversary."

"What do you call a person who farts in private? A private tutor"

"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a child, you'll probably hate it as an adult"

"I always eat what's put in front of me... ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed to be a gynaecologist."