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Joke of the Day

"In light of the recent NASA news.... Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in a piece of gum? No? Well he got stuck in Orbit."

"I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head."

"How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it."

"The phrase ""This shit is bananas"" probably originated from the guy who had to clean out the monkey cage at the zoo."

"Why can't , melons get married? Because they cantaloupe."

"Doctor: i'd like you to step on the scale. Me: You first, pal."

"This summer I'm going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say, 'Get a life' on them. Demetri Martin"

"Ya know what usually happens when I get naked in the bathroom? The shower gets turned on."

"You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving."

"Donkey and a rooster So let's say I have a rooster and you have a donkey. If your donkey eats the feet off of my rooster what will you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."