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Joke of the Day

"I failed my biology test today A question asked, ""What is commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" wasn't the right answer"

"if you write something and include a ""tl;dr"" version that just means you're shitty at keeping peoples attention with your awful writing"

"So I bought an elephant for my friend's room the other day. When I gave it to her, she said, ""Thanks."" And I said, ""Don't mention it!"""

"If you think it hurts to lose a boyfriend/girlfriend, you've clearly never lost close to 500 GB's worth of data on your hard drive."

"Chuck Norris threw a grenade, killing 50 people... Then the grenade exploded."

"Lost your keys? Why not try looking in the same two places 16 times whilst getting increasingly angrier"

"What did Marvin Gaye's dad say to him on his birthday? Son, if this is another tie, I'm gonna kill you."

"Cops are like women. Can't live with them, can't live without them. And they're a bunch of pussies."

"Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months."

"Those men drinking battery acid Will soon be charged"