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Joke of the Day

"I failed my biology test today A question asked, ""What is commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" wasn't the right answer"

"Mars: ""hello."" Me: ""Is your water running."" Mars: ""yes."" Me: ""WELL YOU BETTER GO CATCH IT!"""

"When telling a joke to a German, it's very important to remember the rule of three. They have a very drei sense of humor."

"My mom is the healthiest person I know... She's been a vegetable her whole life."

"What do fish smoke? Seaweed."

"I won't believe corporations are people Until Texas executes one."

"Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: A Rip Off"

"Morpheus: ""You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and--"" Me: ""Blue pill."""

"What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a large pizza? ""A large pizza can feed a family of four"""

"I'd love to hear an actor honestly answer the ""How did you prepare for today?"" red carpet question with ""Cocaine and sit ups."" #GoldenGlobes"