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Joke of the Day

"So I bought an elephant for my friend's room the other day. When I gave it to her, she said, ""Thanks."" And I said, ""Don't mention it!"""

"Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have ""evolved."" Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about."

"What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time? I'm Thor"

"New way to avoid pregnancy: Wear double condom with chilli powder in between. If outer breaks she will know, if inner breaks u will know."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That's not funny"

"How do you unlock a door made of dough With a cookey"

"I work at a furniture store. My boss asked me to label and price all the new items. I said, ""Hey boss. How do you want me to label this stone armchair?"" He said, ""No man, clay chair."""

"If Wednesday is hump day... ...is Tuesday foreplay day?"

"Onion books. Read 'em and weep. (Credit to Andrew O'Niel.)"

"""I like the way you move!"" -Jealous inanimate object"