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Joke of the Day
"""Mom, I don't like my little brother."" ""Then just eat the vegetables."""
Next Joke
"I told a man I was voting third party He said, ""That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"" ""Simple,"" I replied, ""I'd pick the bullet."""
"What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You stop milking a cow after 10 years."
"It's strange isn't it, you stand in a library and go ""Aaaaaargh"" and everyone stares at you. Do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in."
"Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers? I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive. edit: grammar"
"The Three Rs of Reddit Repost, reuse,recycle."
"Relationship status: My sex toys have 2 drawers now.You know you're getting old when everything either dries up or leaks"
"4 y/o: how does Santa go to everyone's house in one night me: warp speed 4 y/o: warp speed isn't real me: neither is Santa go to sleep"
"A man is getting head from his wife... ...and tells her that he wants to cum in her ear. ""I'll go deaf!"" she says. ""Yeah? Well I always cum in your mouth, but you never shut the fuck up!"""
"Bend over and take it like a taxpayer."