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Joke of the Day

"'So Timmy, how did you fall into that well?' 'Oh. I never fell in, I was p- *sees Lassie do cut throat motion* -was jumping in.'"

Next Joke
 
"A man stopped breathing today at a bar... A lady then screamed out ""ANYBODY KNOW CPR"" I yelled back. ""I know the whole damm alphabet!"" Everyone Laughed... Well except 1 guy..."
"I'm finally part of the cool crowd! *waddles off with colony of penguins*"
"My mute grandfather always said:"
"I work at an investment firm We got a new CIO to head up the Agriculture/Farm investment team. He reports to the EIEIO."
"Some people mock me because I'm a virgin but I don't give a fuck (This is probably a repost because it's so unoriginal)"
"Why don't blind people sky-dive? (from ""Money Train"") Because it scares the shit out of their dogs."
"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"
"""I'd make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem."" ""Um, population control?"" ""Kill all the storks. BOOM!"""
"TIL of Cunningham's Law It states that the best way to get the right answer on the internet is to ask a question."