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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a president crossing the road? A presidestrian"

"Professor opened with this in first year engineering lecture: What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities"

"Meghan Trainor's business cards' must be pretty simple. Name: No Number: No Affiliation: No Contact address: No"

"According to my laptop, my New Year's resolution is 1680 x 1050."

"5yo: if superman & batman had a big fight, superman could throw him into space where he'd suffocate'. I'm raising a problem solver you guys."

"Data plan Use your whole data plan every month. Remember that there are children in Africa with no data plan."

"What does a gay bird-keeper do for fun? He sucks a cockortwo!"

"Thanks for a lovely evening, I had a great time. Sure, I'll come in for a coffee. You have a lovely apartmeMY GOD that is a lot of Swastikas"

"What's the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist? A Catholic will say hello when he sees you in the liquor store."

"What are a plumber's favorite shoes? Clogs"