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Joke of the Day

"[puts cone of shame on dog] ME: (to dog) sory buddy DOG: (to all other dogs in neighborhod) BOW DOWN TO LORD FLOFFYTON HEARER OF ALL BARKS"

"[Office] Secretary: Mr. Grey will see you now. Anastasia Steele: I have a ridiculous name."

"Corduroy Pillow ""Did you guys hear about those new corduroy pillows?"" [silence] ""No? I heard they were making headlines"""

"Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says, ""I think we're doing this joke wrong""."

"Sure... when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's ""sexy"" and ""art"" But when I do it I'm ""drunk"" and need to ""get out of Home Depot"""

"I'm in a very serious relationship with Batman. My beloved Baeman."

"Ten out of one women is a Russian Nesting Doll"

"the real people to blame for 911 I heard it was two irish carpenter s paddy and mick fitting doors on the 60th floor paddy told mick to get a plain n take some of the top. Mick misinterpreted"

"Never try to kill a termite with a napkin. It'll only get bigger."

"I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said ""it's me or your fishing."" Gee I miss her."