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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through one of his skits without laughing"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"How does Jennifer Lopez like her cheese? From the block."

"Heard a friend bragging about his one night stand Whatever mate, i've got two night stands. One either side of my bed."

"Barista: Can I get your name? Me: Lisa Barista: Pizza? Me: Yeah, that's fine."

"Kylo Ren: I can't read your mind! How are you resisting me?! Rey: Occlumency lessons from Professor Snape."

"I'm always right about things... Could you say I have a correctile dysfunction?"

"What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user? Meals on Wheels"

"I was standing at a urinal taking a leak when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox...bad day to wear sandals."

"guy walks into a strip club.. guy walks into a strip club and says, ""hey!, who do I gotta blow to get a lap dance around here?"""