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Joke of the Day

"If you would have told me 20 years ago that I'd be posting stupid jokes on the internet, I would have said what's an internet."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because the air is free."

"How do you keep a blonde waiting? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"me on my first date: ""for me to continue this relationship you need to choose correctly"" [i pull a frog & a lizard out of my pocket]"

"When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'. I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked ""Does anyone know any French?"""

"[Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' ""That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired"" [later googling Sextuple] ""Omg that's genius"""

"What did the one strawberry say to the other? If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"

"What do you call a little Mexican? A paragraph. Because he's not quite an essay."

"[eulogy] ""Before we get started I'd like to ask Jenny, Dawn, Rachel, the deceased's 2 sons and the entire front row to put down your phones"""

"What did the mountain say to the desert? ""you're hot"""