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Joke of the Day

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me!"

"Disclaimer: My jokes are not always based on true events. Use as directed. Side effects may include genital swelling & loss of lunch."

"How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1, it's a goddamn electrician, what'd you expect?"

"How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday! "

"Shortest One-Liner ever Dwarf shortage"

"A man asks his wife on a Friday evening... Husband: Shall we have a nice weekend? Wife: Sure, why not? Husband: Ok then, see you on Monday!"

"I used to have phone sex now I have hearing aids"

"Not a lot of people know this, but if you dress up like a pirate and go into Red Lobster, you eat for free."

"Me: You're the only one who truly gets me. Chipotle guy: What? Me: I said chicken. Chicken burrito."

"My Girlfriend"