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Joke of the Day

"Did anyone hear about the Grizzly who was sick of giving birth to naked cubs? She could barely bear to bear bare bare bears."

"How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it on one side, then throw it in the pot!"

"What's the difference between Whitney houston and my car? My car can make it to 50."

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor"

"I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard."

"People ask me what's my favorite vegetable. Apparently Stephen Hawking is a bad answer."

"A dop Ted Father : Son, do we have any dop ted? Son : What's a dop ted? Father : You are. You're adopted. Son : Nice one dad. Father : I'm not your dad."

"What animal did they have in concentration camps? Dachau"

"I made a really sexy gravy. It was saucy. I put a few raisins in it, but it started getting fruity."

"Is anyone here named Jeff? Jeff: Yes. Jeoff: Yeos."