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Joke of the Day

"People ask me what's my favorite vegetable. Apparently Stephen Hawking is a bad answer."

"If the quiz made you a little quizzical, what is the test going to make you? Really fucking confused."

"What's the difference between sperm and lawyers? Sperm have a 1 in 3,000,000 chance to become a human being."

"Did you hear about the ghost who got put in prison? He was charged with possession."

"A scientist claims to have 100,000 pieces of evidence that Bigfoot exists. How about one, a f#cking Bigfoot??"

"Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face."

"Ebay is way to hard to use I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this *Pushes salad aside*"

"When birds fly in V formation why is one side longer than the other? They have more birds on that side. #scienceded"

"Do I believe in climate change? Uhh yeah I believe... it DOESN'T EXIST AHH HAHA (a fiery gull falls out of the sky) HAhaha hey fire bird"