132209

Joke of the Day

"I don't ever use my blinker. It's nobody's business where I'm going."

"Are you reading this from a toilet? I'm writing this from one."

"I pitched my movie idea to a producer . It was about a kid who found out his transgender uncle was a superhero. I called it Auntman, the producer didn't get the idea, because he was black..."

"""BRING ME THE FOETUS' OF 3 CHICKENS"" *Maniacal stare* ""Listen dude, its called an omelette,a 3 egg omelette"" ""AND THE BLOOD OF 4 ORANGES"""

"Reddit is down? Now where will 9gag get all of its content?"

"Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song? Blame it on the night"

"What's 50 Cents name in Zimbabwe? 400 Million Dollars"

"There was a professional hockey player that had to go to an away game, but he couldn't take his dog along with him. He got 2 minutes for boarding."

"What's the difference between the Rockettes and a troop of acrobats? One is a cunning array of stunts."

"The stoners surround me very, very slowly. Three of them are eating cereal. ""Look guys,"" I explain. ""When I said I had a pot belly..."""