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Joke of the Day

"Over the past year my sexual perversions have been getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom."

"What kind of bug can survive all winter? A bahumbug!"

"What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders? The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance"

"How do you get garbanzo breath? Have a chickpea in your mouth"

"....and that's how I ended up laying on the bedroom floor with a potato stuck in my ass."

"First date Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers Her: Wow, impressive Him: Then I'll move on to Virgos"

"What do Muslims do at a Rammstein concert du fast"

"Why do sharks circle their prey? ""dad, why do the sharks swim in circles like that before they eat someone?"" ""it makes them taste better, son."" ""taste better? How? "" ""it scares the shit out of them."""

"Why do bird watchers invest so much money in breast cancer awareness? Because they are greatly satisfied by seeing Tucans."

"TIFU by having sex on an airplane .."