132075

Joke of the Day

"I so want to be in a relationship. I want to account for everything I do. Answer to someone when I come home late. And get dragged over the coals for not calling a hundred times a day."

"A police man saw a black man beating up an old lady. Why didn't he do anything? Because he wasn't racist!"

"My boss said to ""treat customers like you treat your mother"", so I haven't answered my phone in a month and I have 74 unheard voicemails."

"Why was the 'P' irate? Because his peg leg made him go 'R'"

"Why do you think that God hates fags rather than figs? Oh, I got confused; after all, they are both painful on the anus!"

"Theres 365 days until halloween and people ALREADY have their decorations up."

"What do women and bass guitars have in common? You have to slap them for people to think you're a good player"

"Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights."

"The cashier told me to have a good New Year like my purchase of oven cleaner and frozen pizza suggests anything else."

"Gardening I was gardening the other day when my older brother rang to ask if I wanted to hang out. I promptly said yes because you know what they say, bros before hose."