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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights."

Next Joke
 
"Essex Girl after sex! What does an Essex girl say after having sex? What team do you guys play for?"
"my mom's cat has been in our family since 2002 and i never saw it get a boner til tonight. animals are awful and perverted"
"Siri, what kind of candy is in that van?"
"Do you know what that white shit in bird shit is Shit..."
"Well, just got a job at the guillotine factory. I'll beheading there now."
"I'm so poor... I can't even **pay** attention"
"Why did the Muslim cross the road? I said to my self as I floored the accelerator. Although I guess he did get to the other side."
"[my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: ""i had a good time tonight"" me: ""i think you need to leave"""
"The other day, an ex girlfriend of mine was hit by a bus near my house And I thought to myself ""that could've been me"" Then I remembered - I can't drive a bus"