132039
Joke of the Day
"Dear Kelloggs, Cereal that makes them go back to sleep. Sincerely, Tired parents"
Next Joke
"Chelsea FC captain had a night to forget, his performance was Terryble"
"ME: 3 Big Macs please. lol it's my cheat day CLERK: you ordered the same thing yesterday ME:[leans in] why don't u mind your own gd business"
"Therapist: resentment is like drinking poison in the vain hope it makes your enemies sick Me: not if I'm banking on them eating my body"
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears, bears will kill you."
"We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing."
"What are the advantages of living in Switzerland? Well, for one, the flag is a big plus."
"The cable guy said he'd be here sometime between 1:00 and April, 2016."
"Sally Why did Sally fall off her swing? She got hit by an axe. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally."
"Everyone keeps saying they hate the smell of moth balls But I just keep wondering how they spread those tiny legs apart."