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Joke of the Day

"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"How do you make an egg roll? Push it"

"I tried eating a whole llama once. I couldn't finish it, so I figured ""Eh, alpaca lunch for tomorrow."""

"They won't be able to serve bottled beer this year at the baseball stadium. They lost the opener."

"Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle"

"My ex is fat!!! Yay...I win!!!"

"When someone says ""sorry it's so messy in here"" regarding their mostly clean car I laugh so loud I cough up several pieces of trash"

"What is the capital of Greece? About 10 dollars."

"/r/jokes also went private, but not the whole thing Just jokes!"

"I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now."