132018
Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the horror movie set in a campground? It was in tents."
Next Joke
"Off to the DMV. Time for new license pic. Gonna be really drunk for it. If i ever get pulled over the cop will think i always look like that"
"Found my first gray pubic hair. The people in line with me at the market were not nearly as impressed as I was."
"How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? ""You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"""
"Barry? Yes Joe Can I borrow Air Force 1? I promised this girl we'd eat at the Pizza Hut in France No Joe *Biden slams fist* THIS IS BULLSHIT"
"*Holds an old lady's hand as I help her across the street* don't worry ma'am i'm sure the doctors can sew it back on"
"Me: What's the point if it's not a little violent, dirty? I wanna feel alive. The blood makes me feel ALIVE. Dentist: Please just floss more"
"What does a priest get when he wants pussy? Nun"
"BREAKING: Republicans may oppose President Obama's decision to skip breakfast."
"It's 4:20!"