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Joke of the Day

"Found my first gray pubic hair. The people in line with me at the market were not nearly as impressed as I was."

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"If you're a Mayan, I don't even know how you show your fucking face in 2013."
"I know we get a lot of dad jokes...here's a mom one What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine? Make it sew!"
"Two fish are in a tank... One looks at the other and says ""how the fuck are we supposed to drive this thing?"""
"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside. Credit to Top Gear."
"With all this beef going around about Chris Brown and Soulja boy fighting, one things clear This isn't going to be the first time Chris Brown hits a bitch"
"[my 1st day as a doctor] I can't find a pulse [patient] that's a trashcan. I'm over here [me] hold on, I think this trashcan is dying"
"What's the difference between plants and black men? Cells are found inside plants."
"The best part of necrophilia You don't have to bring flowers"
"A cannibal and his son saw a pretty girl in the forest The son said: ""Dad, can we eat her?"" The dad said: ""No, son. We take her home and eat your mother"""