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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: Republicans may oppose President Obama's decision to skip breakfast."

"What do you say when your mom walks in on you fapping? C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!"

"One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth."

"Why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he needed a poo."

"*double-checks the constitution to see if we really have to have a president*"

"""I'm going to be famous one day"" -Unknown"

"Did you hear about the beaver who went to the bar but forgot his wallet because he'd just shape-shifted from another water mammal? He says to the bartender ""I must've left it in my otter pants."""

"Coworker: My arms are killing me from hoeing in my garden this weekend. Me: Thanks but I'd rather not hear about your sex life."

"I came last in a karate competition yesterday I was kicking myself!"

"Have you heard the new Google Glass ad? You can talk to your mate while they are sitting on you face!"