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Joke of the Day

"What does a priest get when he wants pussy? Nun"

"My 8 year old brother's best joke. What animal will you always see at a resturant? A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic."

"What's the definition of awful? Putting a bomb on a disabled person's back and telling him to run."

"Parents: It's unfair to put your toddler on a leash if you're not going to also let them pee next to parked cars."

"How do you confuse an idiot? Seven."

"What did one deer say to the other after leaving a gay bar? Dude, I can't believe I just blew a hundred bucks."

"Holy lord, that sneeze felt so good I feel like I just cheated. I even named it Stan to further delude myself. I'm such a bad girl!"

"If you put your ear really close to someone's knee you can actually hear... ...them say: ""What the fuck are you doing?!"""

"Today I picked up a hitchhiker. Dropped him off at Crystal Lake. Seemed nice but didn't say a word. Was wearing a hockey mask. Oh, these wacky kids and their crazy fashions!"

"classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. ""Nationality?"" asks the immigration officer. ""German,"" she replies. ""Occupation?"" ""No, just here for a few days."""