81719

Joke of the Day

"There once was a fellow McSweeny... Who spilled some gin on his weenie. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, Then slipped his girlfriend a martini!"

"What do you call it when a non-binary gendered couple has a legal dispute over custody of their children? A transparency review."

"bleakest Russian joke i know ""children! Your father hanged himself for some peace and quiet, not so you could have a swing-set!"""

"year 39, month 3: woke up a sentient tangle of meat and calcium again"

"Whats the difference between a man and a government bond? The bond matures."

"Why did the cowboy get a dachshunds? Because once someone told him to get a long little doggie."

"I rang up British Telecom, I said, ""I want to report a nuisance caller"", he said ""Not you again"". "

"There are no atheists in parking lots where you've dropped your phone face down on the asphalt."

"I'm not all that concerned about Celine Dion's recent losses. I'm pretty sure her heart will go on."

"When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?"