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Joke of the Day

"I want some Chuck Norris jokes! Something like: *Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.* or *Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.*"

"What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ? A witch with a blindfold !"

"Next year for Halloween I think I will be a dead chrysanthemum.... Then when people ask ""WTF are you"", I will reply and say ""I am a chrysanthemummy!"""

"Why does everyone make fun of Batmans old suit, the one with the nipples? Bats have nipples. Hell, that's the most sensitive part of a bat."

"Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? A: It depends how hard you throw them."

"Sepp Blatter being re-ellected"

"So two guns are hanging out, ""shootin' the shit""... When one gun says to the other, ""Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?"" the second gun says, ""In some old magazine I found."""

"My dad's TV volume is always set at ""f*ck the neighbors""."

"What do you call a deer with big eyes? A big-eye deer!"

"In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today... ...the one's with 18 holes. (Too soon?)"