131722

Joke of the Day

"At the beginning of this year I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds.... ...Only 15 pounds to go!"

"An owl decided to make romantic advances towards another owl. To wit, to woo."

"Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? ( say it out loud )"

"Meet my new lizard friend... He's my newt!"

"It's all fun and games until you're sitting in the Planned Parenthood waiting room doing your Algebra homework"

"I commonly known for arguing over what gives an object weight Some people say I'm a mass debater"

"Mel Gibson, Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are showing up."

"*in the back of a police car* can ya'll hand me the aux cord?"

"The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably."

"What do you call Irish fruit punch? A barfight in a gaybar"