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Joke of the Day

"i have learned nothing from everything and will continue to do so with zero responsibility and consequences"

"This 14 yr old girl in the news that is being frozen cryogenically, her Mother wanted to comply with her wishes, but her Father didn't... Does he just have to let it go?.."

"Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift."

"I can walk on water ... but I tend to stagger on beer."

"There was a fight in the Fish and Chip shop the other day The fish got *battered* and the chip got *a-salted*."

"Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I'm way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!"

"I was talking to my grandfather When he said ""your generation relies too much on technology"" I then said "" no grandpa yours does"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten gagged whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law."

"Where do gay midgets come out from? The cabinet."

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere."