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Joke of the Day

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt."

"I want my tombstone to read ""Free WiFi"" so people would visit more often"

"What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandyhook survivor. ...."

"I don't understand why you can lead a horse to water but you can't make a teenager do the dishes."

"I'll read a Southern Gothic novel with 1,288-word sentences, I don't give a Faulkner."

"I'm going to make a heavy metal band ... and call it Lead Zeppelin."

"If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I'm going to give them a dollar and say ""Here. Go play the Lottery. That's what I did."""

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"what do you call twin chinese rappers? two chengs"

"Women are like Siberian Tigers... They're both very pretty to look at, and you can have a lot of fun with each IF they're unconscious, but if its a live one, keep it the *hell* away from me."